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| Happy mama retreat via notthecar |
Being a parent in general isn't a
cake-walk. Being the parent to a child with autism feels some days
like climbing out of a pit when they keep throwing dirt at you.
Regardless parents usually fall into the trap of not taking time out
for themselves. We may make excuses, I can't afford it, we don't have
the time, the energy, anyone to watch our high needs children or we
may have fallen into the mommy martyr trap. The problem with making
these excuses is it speeds up issues within ourselves. We get rundown
from exhausting of having to be always ON. We may get resentful of
others who do get breaks or our partners or family. We may retreat
from other friendships and then wonder where they went after the
umpteenth invitation decline. When do we get to recharge?
Last week I attended the Happy MamaConference and Retreat. Its a retreat for mothers of children with
disabilities. What??? Can you believe it? An event just for women who
have walked in your shoes. Everyone there has the same life. The may
be single or married, from various cities and backgrounds, they may
stay at home or hold down full time jobs but they have 1 or more
children diagnosed with a disability. Autism, ADHD, Downs Syndrome,
Visually impaired, Intellectual disabilities etc. You name it and it
was represented. When I first heard about it I started putting money
aside to afford this trip. The price wasn't too much, there was a
payment plan, and bonus for me it was local so I didn't have to pay
for the hotel stay.
Friday I headed over to The EmbassySuites Brier Creek for the opening reception and happy hour. When I
arrived the lobby was full of people from 3 different on-site events.
I grabbed my tag and mingled with several people who were also
attending. The main thing I noticed while meeting people was this
look of relief, like they were taking a breath for the first time in
ages. I had dinner with a group I had just met an hour earlier. We
chatted and laughed that night. The next morning were the start of
conference activities. After check in and a huge welcome from
Adrienne we did some group activities to 1-wake everyone up (I heard
the beds in the hotel were amazing) and 2- get us to meet others who
had children with the same disability. We then went into the agenda
for the day. Topics ranged from Self-care for us moms to Student
advocacy for our children lead by an actual special education
attorney. There were also breakout discussions both days on various
topics that each mom was allowed to attend 1 per day. Those ranged
from Local Support Groups to newly diagnosed and the teen years.
There was a free relaxation yoga class after the days events and
anyone who had prearranged spa treatments had a nice block of time to
get those in. I headed back home to take a nap in my nice quiet house
then swung back for the dinner. Dinner tonight was provided and gave
another opportunity to meet with others and chat. Afterward groups
veered off while some stayed around just chatting either in the main
room or at the bar.
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| Part of the agenda from the Happy mama conference. |
Sunday morning brought another day of
activities. Breakfast was provided for hotel guests, followed by lite
snacks and drinks for everyone else. With a few more speakers and the
2nd set of breakout sessions you could see that the women
surrounding me were unwinding. The session about finding ways to
afford self-care really seemed to resonate with the group. After the
last of the door prizes were given and the books were sold, everyone
started to head home back to reality.
I am very active in my local special
needs community. I even saw a few people who I knew from other
circles but I still saw the value in this retreat. Moms came from as
far at Canada. Many had no idea some of the services others are have
used. Respite was mentioned a lot, school issues, local resources, we
all had something to learn. I talked with a mom who has gotten her
child into college, something that I still see in front of me and I’m
lost thinking about. I talked to a few about middle school which is
behind me and an area I feel you need tons of moral support. There
was one common thread, we are no in this struggle alone and someone
is there to listen to you with no judgment. We also aren't afraid to
say what went easy and what was hard. We connected. And isn't that
what we all want out of this world to connect with others who
understand? I definitely got my money's worth and I’m glad I put
the effort into attending. I decided I was worth this trip and you
know what? If you've walked this road you are worth it too.
